Day 100 of the OYNB Challenge: no more counting from here

This is what success looks like?!!?!

I wanted a glass of wine this evening to celebrate Day 100 alcohol free.  I wanted a glass of wine this evening to make sure I am not trapped in a boring life.

I missed my old self. The self which would have have said “fuck-it!” and feel liberated by throwing all the responsibility, worry and weight off my shoulders.  Just for the night. 

There were other reasons to drink this evening. I have been moody for the last few weeks – this is not a Bipolar mood and I suspect PMS. Which I didn’t know I suffered from, because I would self-medicate with wine! Also, work provided a manic start to the year with plenty of energy required. And I worked hard to achieved my 90-Day One Year No Beer Challenge (OYNB Challenge).

So surely it’s time to unwind, check-out and celebrate, no?  It was a tempting day today.  By 10am I had decided I was having a glass when I got home, by 11am I was making suggestions along these lines to Hubby.

Coming down from the ledge

It wasn’t a conscious decision to turn the evening around.  I had the afternoon still at the office, which gave me distance from the decision to drink.  I chatted to my OYNB community. Followed by a lovely alcohol-free G&T at the end of the Friday from the work bar.  You heard correctly… the work bar.  We still have those?!

Then on the way home, I listened to this inspiring podcast from Annie Grace from the This Naked Mind movement. The discussion is around transferring the time and energy we give to alcohol to creating momentum in other areas of our lives. By the time I got home, I was ready to sit outside on our patio with Hubby, listen to the birds and catch up on our days.

Counting days alcohol-free makes sense, only to a point

It was fun to count to Day-90 for the OYNB Challenge.  Counting to 365 feels less rewarding – like the very long last stretch of a race.  With a dimmer memory of why you started.

What I discovered today is that there is no destination. Day 100 doesn’t mean anything.  It’s just a day, and I was lucky enough to make it through without losing everything I have gained. 

Not only what I have gained over the last 100 days, but all the insights and changes I have implemented in my life over the years, through chosen, and sometimes forced, self-development. Name a self-development book and I have read it, summarised it, and created templates 😉.  All that self-work is mostly ineffective with booze in my life.

I cannot promise I won’t cave next time, but I am hanging onto the belief that the longer I am alcohol-free, the less likely triggers will lead to thoughts of wine.

Thanks to the OYNB Challenge, I got to 90 days. And now 100 days. And I am going to keep implementing all their tools every single day… whatever the day is. The counting, to nowhere, has to go.