Bipolar in the work place is stressful, irrespective of the job, for the employee and employer
I just don’t know, I just don’t know. After 20 years of high-paced sprints in the corporate world, with Dark Depression crashes in between, I finally left. And if I am brutally honest, with a sigh of relief from my previous boss. My boss didn’t bargain for Bipolar in the work place, and although I was not discriminated against, employees who are not consistent are tough to manage. Just a fact.
So with some hesitation, I joined the small family business, only to find it has its own set of stressors. Family members as employers are more sympathetic to mental disorders, however the emotion involved makes the working relationship far more tricky.
This was supposed to be a ‘foot off the peddle’ experiment, but as anyone who owns and runs their own small business will tell you, the business is, in fact, a baby requiring 24/7 care. Add in the family dynamic and it becomes a breeding ground for Bipolar triggers. But hey, at least I can take off time at whim, right? Wrong! Because the baby might miss a feed, adding more triggers!
Risk of exposing myself as Bipolor in the work place – again?
Bipolar episodes can be explained to family, but Bipolar in the corporate world is very much hidden. A flaky employee is a liability, not an asset, which I hate to say is exacerbated if you are a women in the workplace.
The perception that women are emotional at work is cemented if we take time off for mental issues. I have witnessed this again and again, with myself – who takes Bipolar into every work place with me – and female employees with mental disorders. Women with mental disorders at work at often seen by their bosses as irrational and draining. And emotional women at work are still very much a no-no.
So now I have this opportunity to take on an awesome role in FinTech, with equity upside in the future. It is an aggressive environment, in a high-growth industry. But I can do this job and do it well!
However, this corporate’s ability to accommodate Bipolar in the work place comes into play. In my previous years, I could make a plan, as large corporates have enough momentum to cover any work absences due to Bipolar episodes. This is a smaller business, with much to prove, and thin on resources.
The pressure of this role may trigger Bipolar episodes: an unknown risk
I also worry about exposing myself to high expectations and having to work and deliver according to someone else’s way of doing things. My biggest trigger is an unsupportive boss. I need a boss who sees the value of the high energy and creativity of hypermania, and has the EQ to deal with the slower thinking and time off during the lows. My experience is that I only uncover this support or lack of support once I am in the game.
Also, the role itself does not fit into ‘good careers for those with Bipolar’, which includes roles which are repetitive and quiet. The reality is that I set up initiatives while hypomanic which I deliver on like a demon, but wade through like mud when I hit the Dark Depression. I get there, but feedback is that I look like I have lost interest. Well, because I have.
The role will provide financial security, removing that trigger
And here is the counter-argument. The financial upside will ease my stress about the future, and I do need to increase my earnings to support myself and my kids. I have had amazing Bipolar work success in the past, with more energy and drive than most.
Being financially secure takes a massive weight off my shoulders. I am sure most of us feel this way, Bipolar or not.
The leadership role taps into my potential
I keep reaching for the stars, because I am more than capable of succeeding in leadership roles. And of course, the self-satisfaction gained by this role will re-build my confidence.
With Bipolar, I could acknowledge that my talents and career are forever curtailed. Or take on the world regardless.
Weighing up the pros and cons does not leave a clear answer
No decision yet. I am not sure there is a win-win solution for the corporate and for me. I have so much to give any business, thanks to, and in-spite of, Bipolar.
Being a Bipolar ’emotional women’ in the work place brings energy, drive and direction, but with unplanned time-outs needed. So the employer gets something, if they are willing to accommodate Bipolar in the work place. And I get improved financial security, while realising my potential, if I get the right boss and environment.
None of this is known until I jump in.
